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Dec. 9th, 2009

(no subject)

I never thought that I would find love again.

I miss you, I miss you so much right now.

I'm so proud of you. I cant stop thinking about you. I cant take my eyes off of you.

(no subject)

I am not afraid to be myself, yet I fear for the ones who wont accept it.

Oct. 1st, 2009

(no subject)

 BTW Being heavily sedated, rules.

But it sucks because most conversation or things i did by that time, I cannot remember whatsoevah.

It's pretty cool how it can give you amnesia as an after effect.

i have a biology test tomorrow. and a proyect for computer science class.

 unfortunatly i just had a feeling that everything has no meaning at all.

so me and my pregnant mind are going to sleep.

and posibly live in another fantasy where i can be happy for just a minute.

Remember kids:

Dont trust humans. They are stupid and will get you no where. Now go get a dog and play.

Sep. 22nd, 2009

(no subject)

 I gave up my old life and gained up a new one.

I haven't updated in a while. Oh well, this is pretty much dead now.

I've been very very busy from the chaos in my house, work, friend & boyfriend.

I'm usually never home anymore; and I like it. I've been traveling a lot inside the island. I realized I have been missing out in a lot of stuff since for years. This summer has been completely amazing.  

Today I had a very interesting conversation with a fellow artist who is also my neighbor. He said I had a very interesting and wierd way to see life; and how would a person like me would be able to cope with other people.

I simply answered: "I don't. I like to get to know people, but I dont cope with them, I dont have friends. And that is fine."

A lot of people think that not having any friends is such a bad thing. But who said being lonely is a bad thing. How can I get a long with other people if I dont even get a long with myself. I think my boyfriend must think there is something wrong with me. But keeping a friend is so much work nowadays. I hate speaking on the phone. And the closest friend that I had completly took advantage of me. Some people should learn how to appreciate things that they receive. 

It's going to be my birthday soon, and it's probably gonna suck as always. All i want to do is get a hotel room and sleep. I need atleast a day to rest. I have a lot of shit to do this week. Oral presentation, 2 tests on Theology & Computer Science and 2 pieces done for my porfolio. All in the same week. Oh and did I mention, I have to get an endoscopy done on wensday in a HOSPITAL... Because when the doctor did it in his office, i woke up and got aggresive. Thankfully I dont remember anything. But this time I'm going to be heavily sedated(YES!!).
Anyways... I'm sleepy, I should head of to bed If I want to make it through the week.

b y e.

Dec. 2nd, 2008

Holly shit! Hasta la astrologia is on my ass!

 Love: The Devil 
 Touchstone: The Moon 
 Career: The Lovers 

There are a lot of intense emotions around today, dear stephanie. The alliance of the feminine Moon and the masculine Devil indicates a tricky situation, maybe you or someone close to you is playing a double game. There's an atmosphere of concealment, lies even. But it's possible that the jealousy which you or the other person is feeling could be without foundation. Or at least that's what you'll be trying to prove to calm people down!  When faced with difficulties at work, you will have a tendency to be lethargic. You may be almost paralyzed when it comes to making up your mind about anything to do with your professional life. You’re passing through a temporary depression, aggravated by the Moon and the Lovers, who conspire to cloud your judgement and reduce your ability to react to events. You lack assurance and are dubious about your ability to handle things effectively. And the consequence? You are neither confident nor efficient today!

Oct. 18th, 2008

(no subject)

Hahahahahah! This is form a guy i dated a month ago.
And to make it worse, HE WORKS WITH ME. Awkwarddddddddd

Oct. 1st, 2008



No more facebook, and hopefully no more myspace. I'm still thinking about it. An yes, no messenger for a little while. Well, the only person I talk to is Ian.

I am so done with stupid profiles, always the same kind of people adding me.

I'll still keep this journal, but for now, friends only. Ask me for the add.

For the record, I'm good, fine, healthy. I try to drink a lot of water and eat veggies, so yeah, I'm fine.


Sep. 8th, 2008

(no subject)

it sucks to feel alone.
and not just typical alone.

the type of loneliness you dont want you ANYONE to be aware of.

hiding this shit is so hard. wanting to cry every single second that you take a step. it even get harder to breath. for some reason my lugs wont open up when i need them to.

I'm so homesick right now. i miss the bird nest on my balcony, and the sounds or birds and airplanes in the morning.

i miss being able to talk to anyone, anywhere...

it's like i cannt even open my mouth to say a word. i feel like im judged on my every move.
the way i chew my food
the way i brush my teeth
the way i dress, talk, use what ever!

anything i do, is judged.

i dont feel i can be myself right now. i need time.

Sep. 7th, 2008

(no subject)

i fucking hate tomatoes

ugh YUCK!

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